In Positive Discipline, Jane Nelson reminds us to take time for training and planning to avoid power struggles, frustration, hassles and misunderstandings. Children often don't know what is expected of them. Time constraints often lead to a lack of training. When children don't know what is expected of them or how to accomplish a task, problems will arise.

Never underestimate your child’s ability to participate and benefit from a family meeting. I have done them with success with children 15 months old and would not hesitate to include an infant. The thing to remember is that you are creating a format so that you can come up with solutions as a family. This makes the family unit the authority instead of just you (which is a set up for power struggles).

I always get such a kick out of the way Jane Nelson puts this: Get rid of the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first you have to make them feel worse. Do you feel like doing better when you feel humiliated? Her choice of words seems to really resonate with folks.

Don't you feel that you could spend the entire day cleaning up after your family?

"By 5 pm the house is a mess, the kids are tired, and I need to get dinner going! How can I get them to pick up their toys?" Sound familiar?

First things first. As with any new plan or change tell your family what you have in mind and how it will look.

Take a good, long look at how cooperative you are with your husband, kids, and others. Odds are that if you have been irritated when someone asks for your help, or whiney when the house is a mess, or nag when the chores need to be done, then that is exactly what you are getting back. Are you asking for cooperation when you mean and want blind compliance? If so all you are creating is tyranny and all you will be rewarded with is revolt. Remember, no one likes a whiner, or wants to go along with your program when you are doing your wicked witch of the west routine.